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Thanks, Charlie

My family has always loved animals. When I married my husband, he had a cat named Henry, a white miniature poodle named Sandy, a hamster, Daisy Mae, and three horses, Diablo, Freckles and Eben. I didn’t have a pet at the time, though I’d been owned by several dogs and a couple of cats while growing up. Henry stayed at John’s parents’ house, Sandy moved in with us, Daisy Mae died and was replaced by another hamster, Flip, and we sold the three horses because as newlyweds, we couldn’t really afford to keep them, nor did John have the time needed to care for them properly. That was a tough call for him.

Our first daughter, Courtney, was born three years into our marriage, and she and Sandy became great friends. During the next ten years, we would add another daughter, Kerry, a black lab named Max, an aging cockatiel, Baretta, who had to be given up by his elderly owner, and a son, David. Kids and animals mingled happily through our home.

Sandy lived to be 17 1/2. She died of a heart attack in John’s arms while Courtney (then in the fourth or fifth grade) stood nearby. It was traumatic for both of them, and sad for the whole family because Sandy had been so much a part of our lives for so long. Only a few months later, we lost Max to a tick-borne disease. He was 9. Baretta followed them not long afterward, and for the first time in our family history, we were pet-less. Heartbroken at losing all the pets so close together, my husband and I agreed that we didn’t want any more for a while. With three children now all in school and leading busy lives, and our own careers taking so much time, it just didn’t seem worth the investment of time, money and affection.

A couple of years later, a stray dog appeared in our yard again. Maybe a year old, he had mange (demadectic mange, our vet would later tell us — the expensive kind), was dirty and tick-ridden, and looked to have been hit by a car at some point, because one leg was a little crooked. Courtney — in middle school then — took one look at the smallish, beagle-mix mutt and fell in love. She named him Charlie. She told us that she had been praying for another dog. Well, that pretty much did it. I said to John that if someone we knew had offered us a dog, we could have said no, but since God sent this one, I guess he was now ours.

Several very expensive mange treatments later, Charlie was completely healthy. A sweet-natured, very loving dog, he would have been the perfect pet, except for one flaw. He chased cars. He was one of those dogs who got right at the wheel of the vehicle (he had a special hatred for UPS trucks) and was undoubtedly going to be run over again if he continued. Our property is not fenced, and he was never going to be an in-house dog, so we bought a large pen. He lived in that for a couple of years, being taken out for walks and to play with the kids in the afternoon, but it wasn’t an ideal situation. We tried everything to train him, even the obedience school where our brilliant black lab, Max, had passed with flying colors, but the school owner advised us not to waste our money. Charlie was never going to stop chasing cars.

My father-in-law passed away in October of 1994, and my mother-in-law stayed in their home alone. The obvious solution came to us a few months later; she has a huge, fenced back yard, and an outside laundry room and green room that already had a doggie door installed for a previous pet of hers. Charlie moved to “Mimi’s” house. He loved it there. Lots of yard to run, with trees for shade and squirrels for chasing. A warm, dry room to sleep in (once he mastered the doggie door). Neighbors who slipped him treats through the fence. A doggie friend, Pooter, who lived in the yard behind my mother-in-law’s, and with whom Charlie spent hours running happily up and down the fenceline. He provided company for my mother-in-law, and a little extra security to her home security system, since he barked whenever strangers approached. His new home was perfect for him.

Because he was still “our dog” and we didn’t want all the responsibility to fall on my mother-in-law, someone from our family went by almost every day to visit Charlie, feed and water him, give him his daily seizure meds (he also had epilepsy when he joined us) and monthly heartworm pills. With our daughters grown and pursuing careers, and our son in college, that now-daily chore fell almost exclusively to my husband, though David helped many weekends and during the summer. (After several bad, bone-breaking falls, John’s mother now uses a walker and is somewhat housebound, so he goes by her place every day, anyway, to take care of a few household chores for her). For more than ten years, Charlie has been a fixture at “Mimi’s” house, happy, fat, indulged — and barking safely at cars and UPS trucks from inside a sturdy fence.

Courtney, Charlie and David, Christmas, 2008
Courtney, Charlie and David, Christmas, 2008

Just as the years are catching up with all of us, they began to make their mark on Charlie. His vision and hearing declined, and arthritis slowed his movements. He spent less time running the fence and barking, and more time lying contentedly in the sun. He still enjoyed the vanilla wafers the neighbor gave him in the afternoons, and the sliced weiners in which his pills were smuggled. And he still loved to be petted.

On Monday, April 20, after a year of mostly good days and some bad days, we had to make the very difficult decision to let Charlie go when he was no longer able to stand and walk on his own. John and I took him to our very kind veterinarian. She agreed that the time had come, and John and I told him goodbye with tears in our eyes. We estimated that Charlie was over 17 years old. He’d had a long, adventurous, and happy life.

The hardest part about having pets is that they just don’t live as long as humans. Yes, they’re also expensive and time-consuming and messy — but those drawbacks pale in comparison to the pain of losing them. We still have Izzie, the stray cat I’ve posted about before who adopted us more than ten years ago, and who keeps me company every day while I write. I don’t even want to think about the time when she’ll inevitably leave us.

It’s always tempting to say never again — but then I look at how much pleasure Charlie brought our family during his lifetime, and how lucky Charlie was to have found an extended family to love him and take care of him. One of my writer idols, Dean Koontz, has written about this very topic of animal companions; by protecting ourselves from pain or loss, we can miss out on many pleasures along the way (he’s an animal lover, himself, and lost a beloved golden retriever during recent years). I’m certainly grateful to have Izzie purring at my feet right now as I type this. I’ll try to remember to enjoy every day I spend with her, and I hope there are many more to come.

So, here’s to Charlie, now waiting at the Rainbow Bridge with Sandy and Max and Henry and Baretta and Spooky and Daisy Mae and Flip and Boomer and Kanski and the many other animals that have enriched my and my family’s lives through the years. Thanks for being such good friends to us all.

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All heart

When I started this blog, I said it would be a positive, quiet place to visit. Notes from the life of a working writer, and a busy wife and mother. Occasionally, I’ve veered into health “nags,” not so odd because all three of my offspring are pursuing careers in medicine and medical research.

This is another one of those nags.

At the beginning of March, my husband went to his doctor for a routine annual physical (at the urging of myself and the kids). Other than a few random aches and pains that come with turning 55 this summer, he had no physical complaints. He stays very active with his woodworking and his chores around our property, in addition to spending an hour or so every day taking care of his aging mother. He doesn’t smoke or drink, though he does love to eat, and could stand to lose maybe twenty pounds.

His blood pressure was somewhat high during the physical. His cholesterol was just a little high (according to arbitrary and somewhat arguable modern standards). His G.P. recommended a stress test because of a family history of heart disease. John saw a cardiologist last Monday for that stress test. On Friday, he was admitted to the local heart hospital where he had a stent put into his left anterior descending artery, which was 80 to 90 percent blocked. He has some blockage elsewhere, but that was the worst place. He will now be on medications and a routine of regular medical check-ups for the rest of his life. Again, there were no noticable symptoms of his condition; this was all discovered during a regular exam.

I’ve posted before about how important it is to have annual physical examinations — pap smears and mammograms for women, PSA screenings for men, colonoscopies for anyone over 50 or with a family history of colon cancer. John’s experience last week — and my own last year, in which a precancerous polyp was found during a routine screening — only reinforce my point. Preventative medicine is so much more effective than trying to treat a condition after the fact.

My daughter, the almost-doctor, quotes that we are very good in America at treating illnesses — but we’re not very good at preventing them. There are a lot of reasons for that. Stress, lack of exercise and poor diets (all of which I’m guilty of, myself). Lack of time (at least in our minds) for doctor visits. Finances. I’m self-employed, as is my husband. We know all about how difficult it is to find affordable insurance, and how frightening it is to face medical expenses if a problem is found during an exam. (Don’t get me started on heartless, profit-obsessed insurance companies who finance their CEOs’ mansions and private jets by doing everything they can to keep from paying benefits to their customers, many of whom struggle just to pay the premiums, and who are afraid to make a claim for fear of their rates going up, their coverage being denied, or being trapped in place because of those convoluted “previously existing condition” clauses — oh, wait. This is a quiet, positive blog, and there goes my own blood pressure!).

Once again, I’m urging everyone to take care of your health. John and I are switching to a more heart-healthy diet with more fresh fruits and vegetables and less sodium, and we’re both committing to taking off a few pounds. We’d both be healthier twenty pounds lighter.  If you smoke, please consider quitting. And make time for your annual physical exams. If you don’t have insurance, there are programs to help you afford them. It takes a little research, or a call to the doctor’s office for advice.

Let’s get better about preventing illnesses so we don’t have to worry quite as much about trying to cure them.

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Revenge of the Underdog

So this week, everyone is talking about that audition video of “47-year-old spinster” Susan Boyle for Britain’s Got Talent. The video has been seen by about 12 gazillion people. If you’re one of the few who has not yet seen it, Google her name and watch the YouTube video right now (I won’t post a link because a) I’m not sure it’s legal and b) I don’t know how).

I’ll wait.

*sound of foot tapping patiently*

Have you seen it now? Good. I have to admit I’ve watched it at least five times, and I’ve yet to get all the way through it without having to wipe tears from my cheeks.

Someone on facebook asked in bewilderment why this video is so popular. I think I can answer that question.

For one thing, that clip is one of the most brilliantly edited five minutes I’ve ever seen. It’s a mini movie, as stirring as any high-school-nerd-makes-good film ever made. It could have been directed by John Hughes in the ’80s.

Think about it: dowdy, but plucky heroine takes the stage. I believe I read that she’s the youngest of a litter of siblings who stayed home to take care of her mother, watching her dreams slip past with the years. What better backstory for a book or movie? She is mocked by everyone around her (the “cool crowd” in the high school films — notice Little Miss Something in the video rolling her eyes and jeering). At the cool table sit the popular jock (Simon), the beautiful blond and another popular guy. They make fun of her, too. She holds her chin up and keeps fighting. There’s an initial stumble — the unfortunate hip roll that only gives the bullies more ammunition to use against her. But then she begins to sing.

The crowd gasps in reaction. They jump to their feet cheering. The jock falls in love with her (look at Simon’s adorable sigh and besotted smile about four minutes into the video). The random popular guy admits he was wrong about her all along. The beautiful blond gives us the moral of the story: We are all too cynical, and we shouldn’t be that way. The plucky little underdog (with whom everyone who has ever been mocked or bullied can identify) is carried off the field – figuratively – with a standing ovation while the absolutely perfectly chosen music swells.

Brilliant.

It’s a tried-and-true formula in fiction. Our hero/heroine succeeds against all odds. Courage and talent are rewarded, cynicism and cruelty are defeated. When it happens in real life, we can’t help but cheer.

We want to believe in happy endings. We want to believe that good things happen to good people. That there’s always a chance our own dreams will come true, if only we have the courage and persistence to pursue them. I met a woman recently who is writing her first book at the age of seventy-five. She’s always dreamed of writing and publishing a romance novel, but life kept interfering. Now she’s taking that chance. Maybe her book will be published, and maybe it won’t. I hope so. But I can’t help but believe her life is better just for the trying, for the dreaming, for the aspiring.

Good on you, Susan Boyle. Enjoy your time in the spotlight. Don’t let the madness overwhelm you. And be grateful for that amazingly beautiful, God-given voice. As the pretty blond judge said, we are all privileged to have heard it.

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Can’t live with ’em, can’t chuck ’em out the window

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So, my love/hate relationship with my laptop continues. I booted up one morning last week to continue writing my new Silhouette Special Edition … and the hard drive crashed. Dead. My computer guy was unable to even spin it to retrieve any information.

It’s the first time in my 23 years of computer ownership that I’ve ever had a hard drive crash (knock wood). People had warned me. I’d heard blood-curdling stories about entire manuscripts lost, precious family photos destroyed, general rending of clothing and tearing of hair. But it had never happened to me, even on a couple of computers that got pretty old, in computer years, before I replaced them. I get lazy about backing up — too busy, or I forget or I tell myself I’ll do it tomorrow — and I know I’ve pressed my luck too many times when a crash would have been disastrous.

Fortunately, when my keyboard had to be replaced a few weeks ago, I backed up my entire computer to an external hard drive, just in case. So, all I lost in this crash were a few photos I’d taken since — two of which I really hated to lose, my husband and our son sitting on a little wooden bridge over the creek we hiked beside during spring break — and the first chapter of my new book. Grr. I hate losing pages. As I try to remember what I’d written before and recreate the scenes, I’m always convinced that those lost pages were the best I’d ever written. If only I could remember exactly the phrases and word choices I’d used before … If only I’d taken a few minutes to stick a flash drive into a USB slot and back up every evening.

I was able to buy a new, much larger hard drive for a very good price on-line, with free, very fast delivery, so the machine wasn’t down long. I’ve spent the past two days trying to get the computer restored to the way I had it before. Every program had to be reloaded, downloaded, updated, etc. I love my sidebar, which I keep on top at all times, so that had to be set up just so again. My Word settings, about which I am very particular, are almost back to normal. Now if only I can get my iTunes library reloaded …

So, I’m now back at work on my WIP (work in progress). I’ve been writing a little each day on my husband’s old dinosaur computer while I waited to get my own back up and running. And for now, I’ve been religious about backing up every day when I finish writing. I’ll just have to make sure I don’t get lazy again. Have you backed up your important family photos and other files that are important to you? Crashes happen! But the next thing that goes wrong with this only 2-year-old laptop — and that tossing out the window thing just might be the answer, after all.

Oh, by the way — the photo at the top? One of the photos from my Memphis zoo trip I managed to save (I lost all the ones from my two recent hiking outings with my son, darn it). I think this poor tiger looks like he’s been battling technology and lost. It drove him to drink (see the empty keg in the water?). Or maybe I’m just making up stories again …

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Starting fresh

Our son was home from college for spring break this past week, so I took the week off from writing. The weather wasn’t great during the week, but we had a nice time, anyway, and managed one day of hiking near the Little Red River in Heber Springs, Arkansas. My husband and I enjoyed spending that time with our son.

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Today I started a new book, the second in my Doctors in Training series for Silhouette Special Edition. The first book of the series, DIAGNOSIS: DADDY, will be in the stores in August, 2009. It introduces a close-knit group of five medical students, and the series will follow them through all four years of medical school, each book covering a different year — and a new romance, of course. The book I began today, PRIVATE PRACTICE, takes place during second year — and many thanks to my almost-doctor-daughter, Kerry, for answering lots of questions yesterday about that grueling schedule! We both know there will be more questions as I get further into the story.

Starting a new book is always a challenge. I don’t really know these people yet, though my heroine, Anne, was introduced in the first book. But now I’m delving more deeply into her life. Her demanding family of overachievers. Her hopes and dreams and fears. And I’m getting to know the hero, Liam. Who is he? What’s he like? What does he want more than anything in the world — and what’s keeping him from obtaining it?

Every romance novel has a conflict. Some people think conflict means fighting. I’ve read a few books in which the couples fight all the way through, and then suddenly declare their undying love at the end. Those stories didn’t work for me. I have to see them falling in love, despite their differences. I have to believe that this couple will beat the odds and stay together for a lifetime after the story ends. Conflict, in a romance, is the obstacle that threatens to keep the couple apart — whether it’s an external conflict (the family feud in Romeo and Juliet, for example) or internal (the differing personalities in The Taming of the Shrew), to put it very simply.

So my challenge now is to figure out what the conflict is between Anne and Liam and then help them solve it in such a way that the reader wonders for a while if they’ll ever overcome their problems. When they do, the reader should be pleased and satisfied. One of my favorite authors, Dean Koontz, once wrote that the writer should take away everything the protagonist cares about — and then threaten to take away even more, so that the stakes in the story are very high and the reader becomes invested in wanting that person to succeed and find ultimate satisfaction. I’m sure I’ve accomplished that better in some books than others, but it is always my goal to make the reader care about my characters, to root for them, and to want them to win.

I’m always thrilled to receive letters from readers telling me they enjoyed a book and loved the characters. I frequently get letters asking for stories about secondary characters in my books. The reader feels as though she has come to know that person and wants to learn more about his or her life and future romance. One of my favorite letters was from a reader who apologized for asking, but she just had to know — did the couple in my book have a girl or a boy? (I left the heroine pregnant at the end of the book.) I knew then that I had accomplished my goal of bringing the characters to life, at least for that reader. (And by the way, they had a boy. I knew that already, because the characters become real for me, too, as I accompany them through their journeys).

So now it’s back to work. I know what Anne wants and what’s holding her back — but I’m still a little puzzled about Liam’s hopes and fears. I’m sure he’ll let me know once I immerse myself in his story and listen to him.

By the way, the first quarter of 2009 is almost behind us now. Have you scheduled your annual physical? A breast exam, if you are a woman over 40, or younger with a strong family history of breast cancer? A colonoscopy, if you are 50 or over, or have a family history of colon cancer? Our fight against cancer continues, and the best weapons in our arsenal are prevention and early detection. Charge!

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